Apathy isn’t bad in and of itself. I truly couldn’t care less if you don’t like the same type of music that I like. I have no personal connection to the majority of those that will read this. Additionally, music is pretty low on my list of life passions or convictions. Apathy in our marriages is a different story. Husbands, we must guard ourselves from apathetic responses to our wive’s convictions and passions.
When your wife asks you what you want to eat for dinner, she’s asking you for help. To shrug her off and say “I don’t care” is to love your wife poorly. You may be tempted to reason “But if she’s asking me for input, she must not be passionate about what’s for dinner, right?” While you may be partly right, it’s important to know how insensitive the part of you that’s wrong is to your wife.
When Kristie asks me what I want for dinner, its usually not because she’s passionate about cooking. It’s more likely that she’s passionate about serving me, our family, or our guests well. In the cases where this is not true, it probably has something to do with an empty fridge, exhaustion, or the need for another adult’s input after spending the entire day with preschoolers. When I blow her question off and simply respond “I don’t care”, she doesn’t interpret this as apathy towards dinner, she interprets it as apathy towards her and her needs. When we communicate apathy about our wife’s passions, convictions or decisions, we communicate a lack of care, love and respect towards her.
One last thing: Apathy towards dinner is probably the least of my problems when it comes to apathy towards Kristie. Dinner simply illustrates how unloving I can be when I am apathetic towards her daily routines. This becomes a much greater offense when we start talking about her life long passions. The next time your wife asks you for your input, resist the urge to say “I don’t care.” She does.
This is part of a series of posts centered on loving our wives as Christ loved the church.