“60-80% of all Internet sites are pornography related!”
Pornography is rampant in society. We all know the statistics of how prevalent pornography is on the Internet � I’ve read that anywhere from 60-80% of all Internet sites are pornography related! With pornography so common, it is important for us to know why it is wrong. It is important for Christians to be aware of the dangers of pornography because of the harmful effects it can have on one’s walk with the Lord and life, as well as how to help ourselves or someone else who struggles with this issue.
The word pornography comes from the Greek language. In Greek, “porne” means harlot, and “graphein” means writing. It is translated literally as “the writing of harlots.” Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.” Typically where there is sexual excitement there is also sexual desire. Lust is defined as “an intense sexual desire” in Webster’s Dictionary. In other words pornography can be anything that causes lust. In Matthew 5:28 Jesus says that if you lust after a woman you have already committed adultery in your heart. The seventh commandment tells us that adultery is sin (Exodus 20:14). This answers the question “Why is pornography is wrong?”, but as humans we usually have to learn the hard way.
“We cannot allow ourselves to take part in what the world thinks is OK when we know it is sin.”
Knowing that something is sin doesn’t usually keep us from committing that sin. We need to look at how we can keep from committing the sin of pornography, as well as how we can help others who are struggling with this sin. There are many verses in Scripture that talk about sexual immorality. These verses tell us that sexual immorality has no place in the life of a Christian. Colossians 3:5 says to “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality …” Ephesians 5:3, I Peter 4:3, and I John 2:15-17 talk about no longer acting like the world acts. The world sees nothing wrong with pornography. This is evident in television, magazines, movies, the Internet, etc… As Christians we are to resist this. We cannot allow ourselves to take part in what the world thinks is OK when we know it is sin. Christians are to behave differently than the world. This is what the Lord expects of us.
Pornography provides an escape from reality for those who view it. Like many other things that distort reality, such as alcohol or drugs, it can become an addiction. Soon it may become the only way that a person can deal with the world around them. Those who view pornography often have a distorted view of reality because of it. Pornography devalues women and sex, and this influences how its viewers think about the world around them. Often they view women not as human beings, but as sex objects. Sex becomes something of little value. Instead of an act of love in the confines of marriage as God intended it; sex is a means for their own gratification. This fantasy world inhibits their ability to function in the world around them. Often they become increasingly withdrawn and less motivated to function in the real world around them. People who become addicted to pornography are consumed with the fantasy world and they begin to lose the ability to function as well in the real world. Those addicted to pornography also often become increasingly selfish and inconsiderate of others.
Other Resources:
– Battle Plan Against Pornography
– Fighting Sexual Temptation – And Winning
– Morality In Media
– eXXit.org
– XXXChurch.com
– Every Man’s Battle
– AFA Issues: Pornography
A pornography addiction is very similar to other addictions, but often it can be hidden more easily than alcoholism or drug addiction. Addictions are very difficult to break. One study showed that rats can become addicted to a pleasant or pleasing stimulus (the stimulus they used was an electric current to the pleasure sensors of the rats’ brains). In this study scientists gave the rats the choice of the stimulus or food, and the rats chose the stimulus repeatedly. They continued to choose stimulus instead of eating and they eventually died as a result of not eating. We know that we are different from animals and that we are a special creation of the Lord, but the example of the rats shows how powerful addictions can be. Unlike rats we were created with a soul and because of this we have the hope of being saved from addiction.
A pornography addiction can become extremely powerful for both Christians and non-Christians. Addictions often ruin the lives of those who are addicted, as well as hurt the people around them. In order to break a pornography addiction it is necessary to turn to the Lord. I Corinthians 6:18 says that sexual sin is committed against one’s own body. Because of this I feel that it is necessary to seek the forgiveness of the Lord in order to break a sexual addiction such as pornography. If you or someone you know is addicted to pornography there are 3 things that the person should do to begin to overcome their addiction:
- Confess � Admit to the Lord that there is a problem and ask the Lord for forgiveness. Be humble before the Lord. It is imperative that the person realizes that pornography is sin, but that the Lord will forgive them if they ask with a sincere heart. Submit yourself to the Lord’s will � we can’t do it on our own!
- Accountability � Find someone who you can become accountable to. This should be a person you can trust to be honest with you, and you should be able to be honest with them. It should not be someone of the opposite sex. Ideally it would be someone who is not struggling with pornography also � you may cause each other to stumble. Make a commitment to call one another whenever you are tempted to lust / view pornography. Accountability should be done in a nonjudgmental way. The two people should support and encourage each other in confidentiality. Pray together and for each other.
- Read the Word � In order to grow spiritually it is necessary to read the Bible and spend time with the Lord. Having a daily time with the Lord will help you to focus on serving the Lord and to not give into temptation. Memorizing Scripture is also important. Having verses to draw upon during temptation will make your ability to resist temptation stronger. Remember, we can’t do anything without the Lord � He is our strength. We must walk closely with the Lord to rely on Him for strength.
“Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?” Proverbs 7:27
If you are struggling with a pornography addiction or if you are trying to help someone who has one, look at David’s commitment in Psalm 101:3a. David says, “I will set before my eyes no vile thing.” As we know David struggled with lust and it had a devastating effect on his life. Pornography is vile. It is not the Lord’s design for sex because it is based on lust. It goes against what is wholesome and pure. Proverbs 5:22 & 23, and 6:20-35 describe how sexual sin can lead to destruction. These verses should be enough to scare us away from pornography. If you are struggling with this be encouraged! The Lord wants to forgive you. His invitation is open to everyone. David was a man after God’s own heart and he struggled with lust, and the Lord still did amazing things with his life.
Often people with a pornography addiction feel like outcasts because the Church has a history of ostracizing those who have committed sexual sin. It is important for Christians to act in love toward people who struggle with pornography. Alienating them will only intensify their escape from reality. They need to know that they are unconditionally loved and accepted. If the Lord can forgive and love them, can’t we � shouldn’t we!
Originally Published: October 2003
Tim, this article is great. The part about the rats was so interesting and really showed a lot about the power of addiction. Thanks for the reminder too about loving those who are struggling, with sexual addictions, or any type of problem. As Christians, it is our job, to come alongside those who are struggling, not to shun them for being human. Thanks again!
Praise God for the revelation that he has given you continue to keep your ear open to hear what the Spirit of the Lord is sayin.
If someone is not willing to admit that pornography is wrong, and that it is actually a form of adultery, is it under the law "God's law" grounds for divorce?
great article
Is it pornography wrong if veiwed with a spouse?
Regarding the 'with a spouse' issue. I would say yes because you are still lusting over those other people. You only have to right to lust over your wife and her you. (Obviously after marriage).
Pornography viewed with a spouse is no only "wrong", but incredibly damaging to both of partners. Sex (in Marriage) is something only you two can share with each other, all meaning is lost if it is opened up to others, even through pornography. Besides, why would you want to support a disgusting porn industry?
I will say YES! Pornography is very WRONG. I married a man whom I thought he was, but he's not. He is a pornography addict. He'll do everything just to see images at the internet. He lies a lot. This is really killing me. He just doesn't get it how much I am affected and our marriage. I married him like 6 months ago. I am suffering and I am so much in pain. He promised me not to do it again but I catch him red-handed all the time. I don't know what to do anymore. I am crying a lot. I pray to God all the time for us…
I will say YES! Pornography is very WRONG. I married to a man whom I thought he was, but he's not. He is a pornography addict. He'll do everything just to see images at the internet. He lies a lot. This is really killing me. He just doesn't get it how much I am affected and our marriage. I married him like 6 months ago. I am suffering and I am so much in pain. He promised me not to do it again but I catch him red-handed all the time. I don't know what to do anymore. I am crying a lot. I pray to God all the time for us…
Pornography is very much wrong. I have been struggling with pornography for over ten years. I am a married man, and I am a clergyman. It has damaged my walk with the Lord. I felt for the woman who wrote earlier about her husband. I see the pain in my wife's eyes when I confess, it kills me. Much more is the pain when I realize I have caused Christ pain. Satan seems often to when the battle in my life. I guess I am requesting prayer for my addiction and for strength in my marriage. Jesus has the power, all power to heal this.
i say yes it is wrong. my husband sees nothing wrong with it,and he told me he won't stop. i firmly believe that sex should be shared between husband and wife. he thinks sex is overrated, and isn't important. i can't understand why he does it. we have two boys, and i don't want them to do it. he says they will because it's just what men do. he won't change and i've threatened divorce. is there any hope for a man who won't change? i don't want to lose my marriage over smut!
I am so sorry to hear about and will pray for the people here who are experiencing issues in their marriage due to pornography.
I heard an interview between Dr. James Dobson and convicted and executed serial killer Ted Bundy. You can read the article and transcript at this location: http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000082.cfm
Ted states that pornograph was not THE factor, but a leading contributor to his murderous behavior.
I feel that any time you flirt with fantasy long enough, there becomes the desire to step over into reality. The fantasy experience makes the step to reality that much closer.
I am so sorry to hear about and will pray for the people here who are experiencing issues in their marriage due to pornography.
I heard an interview between Dr. James Dobson and convicted and executed serial killer Ted Bundy. You can read the article and transcript at this location: http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000082.cfm
Ted states that pornograph was not THE factor, but a leading contributor to his murderous behavior.
I feel that any time you flirt with fantasy long enough, there becomes the desire to step over into reality. The fantasy experience makes the step to reality that much closer.
I just got done writing a personal essay about my experience with porn addiction. i never realized how power it was till i wrote it all out. i fully believe it to be the number one most destructive force in my life.
i believe the solution to the problem will never be behavior control. while any break is welcome, will power and controlled circumstances will never never never fix my heart where the whole problem lies.
i’m not married yet but it breaks my heart to know that i have to tell the woman i love about my addiction. and hopefully by gods grace she will be a woman who will be willing to fight with me against the beast. but i know that i have never loved any of the images. NEVER.
Why is it that this is considered a “man’s issue?” Women struggle with this, too. I’m currently in the early stages of trying to break this bond, having come up against it and fallen time and time again. It seems that even in everyday conversations, the general opinion is that women don’t have sexual addictions like men do. That’s so frustrating!!!!! Most of the stuff that I’ve seen, as far as resources, are directed at men. So if anyone has any ideas of resources for women, I’d really appreciate it. Also, prayer is a huge issue, but I also need to somehow ask my “accountability partners” for some more direct help, although I don’t know what that direct accountability will entail. We never actually meet or talk about the important stuff, as we meet in a public place, so something needs to change. Please pray for all of this! Thank you.
I would say with the majority here is that pornography is definately wrong, and i also know that it is a struggle not just for males but for females as well. But to those of you who have friends or know someone who is struggling with pornography and what it leads to (ie. masturbation etc.) i can attest to the power of accountability and honesty. One of my best male friends has struggled majorly with this issue, and is only just coming out the other side after a couple of years of fighting it. His freedom began when he confessed to me his problems, and started relating his struggles with me. from then on i made him become accountable to me, and to be completely honest with me. i followed God’s leading in buying him a book called ‘Every Young Man’s Battle’ and the first time he read it, he literally cried. That book was one of the keys to fighting this terrible addiction. from then on he joined XXXchurch, and set himself up with a male accountability partner who was able to offer him his personal experiences and how he got out of the problems.
I guess what i am saying, is that if you know a friend who is struggling with pornography continue to keep on praying for them, and encouraging them. push them to fight the addiction and to find someone to be completely accountable to. If you are struggling with it, the beginning of freedom is confession. and i know that there is the hesitation of being judged by fellow Christians, but you would be surprised at how many people have gone, and are going through this long struggle.
God bless you all who are still struggling!
Amy
Sister in Christ
I agree that Pornography and all sorts of sexual addictions and impurity are not just a problem relating to Men. (I am a woman, and can testify to the lure of internet pornography and erotica.)
I have just recently joined this site which offers a free Sexual Purity Course. I’m 10 days into it, and its amazingly good! I’m reading verses and stories that I have read over and over again, and getting completely new spins on them:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/course/
Give it a try! For both men and women, we’ve got nothing to lose but our addicitons!
God Bless, Claire 🙂
What if you are single?
For those you are looking for a good Bible Study to help with porn or sexual addiction the book “Breaking the Bonds of Pornography” is now available. It is excellent for individual help or for a group of men or ladies to get help. The author is Robert Carter.
For anyone struggling with sexual addiction, there can be freedom – no matter what the circumstances. That is why our Savior died – to set us free. We can never through our own efforts break free, not with any 12-step program or through any amount of accountability if our hearts are not changed.
I IMPLORE any of you struggling with pornography to sign up and persevere and prayerfully go through the Way of Purity course on the website http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com
This ministry is completely Christ-centered and God has used it in my life to set me free from years of addiction to internet pornography. Do not lose hope, but seek help.
I don’t work for the ministry or anything like that.. I have just been so unbelievably blessed to find freedom in Christ through this ministry that I want many many others to find the same blissful freedom.
Free indeed,
Phil
There are certainly diverging views between the world and those who see pornography as destructive. Millions of people are currently struggling with this addiction and it is eroding our society. It can be compared to the Roman empire which defeated itself morally, except the whole world is in on this problem. We must make a personal stand to be different as individuals as the world decays around us. Good Post!