If you follow Christian pop-culture, you’ve probably recently heard the story of Jennifer Knapp and her return to music. She not only is releasing a new album after a long break (about 7 years), but along side of that announcement she is revealing that she is and has been in a same sex relationship for 8 years now. She said in this article that she has chosen to reveal this part of her life so folks buying her album will not be deceived about who she really is. I do appreciate her honesty. Some Christians choose not to buy a certain product or go to a certain venue because of that product’s or venue’s view on a certain issue. (While there may be some merit to that, I don’t think its really possible to do so all the time. So many stores that we shop at every day support causes that Christians are [should be] opposed to, whether it be homosexuality, pro-choice efforts, or even child labor. It is nearly impossible in America nowadays to boycott every venue and product that does not line up with our values.)
I believe it is clear in Scripture that the ideal relationship of marriage is between a man and a woman, and that any kind of same sex action is sinful. I know people who have struggled with same sex attraction, which I believe is not sinful if they are striving not to act upon that desire. We cannot help our desires, we can only pray that God would change our heart to have the same desires of His heart. I have never been presented with a good Biblical argument for allowing same sex marriages/relationships, and believe that it can be seen both from the creation order as well as the New Testament, that a proper relationship is between a man and woman.
We as believers must remember to keep the most important thing primary, which is the gospel. How should a Christian love a person, believer or not, who is in a same sex relationship? It is a little different depending on if the person is a believer, or if they are not a believer.
If it is an unbeliever, we should show them the love of Christ. It should not surprise us that someone who does not have the Spirit of Christ indwelling them will be in sin! Thats what unbelievers do, sin! Show them love, and preach the gospel to them and pray for them to turn their lives over to the Lordship of Christ.
If the person is a believer, our approach is similar. We should first show them love. We as Christians must first love them, just as Christ loved us in our sinful state. After we have shown them love, in whatever manner they need to be loved, we then may proceed to lovingly point them to the Scriptures that show what a God-honoring relationship is. If we present them the Scriptures, and they disagree with us, it is not us they are disagreeing with, but God.
Its important to remember that no sin is worse than any other sin. Homosexual actions is bad, but so is lying, lust, stealing, over-indulging, wasting time, wasting money, etc. We in the American church have over emphasized homosexuality as a big sin, when in fact we are also in sin by not showing love to one another by being hateful to those who are attracted to the same gender.
Overall, remember that “they will know we are Christians by our love.”