Comments on: Trial Marriages? http://deeperdevotion.com/weblog/1745 Delivered Monday through Friday, our daily devotions are the perfect companion to your time in the Word. Biblical, consistent, and with over three years of back content, DEEPERDEVOTION.com is a great resource for everyone. Check us out on the web at www.deeperdevotion.com Sat, 7 May 2011 18:52:20 -0400 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Shirley http://deeperdevotion.com/weblog/1745/comment-page-1#comment-13466 Shirley Sat, 30 Aug 2008 10:01:10 +0000 http://deeperdevotion.com/weblog/1745#comment-13466 I am asking for prayer for my children and their marriages. My eldest and his wife of 10 years and three children are separated. I believe that God has given them the provisions to withstand if they would obey. Please pray for Marquese and Esther. Thank you and God bless. I am asking for prayer for my children and their marriages. My eldest and his wife of 10 years and three children are separated. I believe that God has given them the provisions to withstand if they would obey. Please pray for Marquese and Esther.

Thank you and God bless.

]]> By: Sadie Hicks http://deeperdevotion.com/weblog/1745/comment-page-1#comment-12695 Sadie Hicks Thu, 14 Aug 2008 22:39:48 +0000 http://deeperdevotion.com/weblog/1745#comment-12695 They're called starter marriages. Most folks we meet expect to have them. Those marriages are a stepping stone, so to speak, that lasts 5 years or less and usually produces no children. We have WAY too many friends and family members who laugh and joke it off and say it was good practice (living together, merging "stuff" like stereos, learning to share a closet, etc.) for the real thing. These folks usually say that shacking up as soon as they're engaged is fine, being engaged for years is fine, and they almost never merge their bank accounts, and if they do aren't completely honest to their spouse about what they make or how they're spending their money. "If my husband knew how much I spend on shoes..." or "Yeah, she thinks I bring home $2500 a month but it's really $3000 and the rest goes into an account that she doesn't know about." We hear it ALL THE TIME. It baffles us. But then you stop and think about it and it makes perfect sense. In today's western world everyone has their own stuff from birth. Folks get pregnant with another child and then upsize to a larger home so that each kid can have their own room and their own bathroom. You turn 16, you get your own car. Those folks didn't have to learn to share a closet as kids because their parents didn't afford them the privilege of learning the virtues of patience, tolerance and real love that lays down it's life for his friends. It's sad. However, what is more sad to me are the folks whose parents' marriages ended in divorce, and then they were shuffled amongst the 1/2 sibblings and step families, usually being abused in some form, and then never settle down into marriage in the first place because they know first hand what it means to be the child of divorce. Their goal in life is to not be divorced, so they avoid marriage. So they co-habit and date a lot, break off relationships, rekindle and break off again, and but then something happens. They reach their 40 and realize they've never had kids. So they settle down with someone, anyone, and have a kid. But that doesn't satisfy. They've grown accustomed to having things their own way... depending on themselves without any accountability or sense of community. And they have also acquired the habit of leaving a relationship when times get rough. On top of all of this, young women today have been trained to enter the work force not to run a household. So when she has a baby a woman is way more comfortable returning to the work she's faced for 20 years than a crying, squishy, stinky blob. So she returns to her career, her husband to his own, and the child is sent to strangers for survival, and instead of a family growing together in the same direction, everyone is all over the place pursuing his and her own desires and never being fulfilled. Because what they desire is to fill the void of family, and they don't know how to have one. No one has ever modeled for them how to do life. They truly believe that a good life just happens to some folks and doesn't happen for others. And that ought to be the single goal of today's church: to model how to do life. How to be family. That's it. They’re called starter marriages. Most folks we meet expect to have them. Those marriages are a stepping stone, so to speak, that lasts 5 years or less and usually produces no children. We have WAY too many friends and family members who laugh and joke it off and say it was good practice (living together, merging “stuff” like stereos, learning to share a closet, etc.) for the real thing.

These folks usually say that shacking up as soon as they’re engaged is fine, being engaged for years is fine, and they almost never merge their bank accounts, and if they do aren’t completely honest to their spouse about what they make or how they’re spending their money. “If my husband knew how much I spend on shoes…” or “Yeah, she thinks I bring home $2500 a month but it’s really $3000 and the rest goes into an account that she doesn’t know about.” We hear it ALL THE TIME.

It baffles us. But then you stop and think about it and it makes perfect sense. In today’s western world everyone has their own stuff from birth. Folks get pregnant with another child and then upsize to a larger home so that each kid can have their own room and their own bathroom. You turn 16, you get your own car. Those folks didn’t have to learn to share a closet as kids because their parents didn’t afford them the privilege of learning the virtues of patience, tolerance and real love that lays down it’s life for his friends. It’s sad.

However, what is more sad to me are the folks whose parents’ marriages ended in divorce, and then they were shuffled amongst the 1/2 sibblings and step families, usually being abused in some form, and then never settle down into marriage in the first place because they know first hand what it means to be the child of divorce. Their goal in life is to not be divorced, so they avoid marriage. So they co-habit and date a lot, break off relationships, rekindle and break off again, and but then something happens. They reach their 40 and realize they’ve never had kids. So they settle down with someone, anyone, and have a kid.

But that doesn’t satisfy. They’ve grown accustomed to having things their own way… depending on themselves without any accountability or sense of community. And they have also acquired the habit of leaving a relationship when times get rough. On top of all of this, young women today have been trained to enter the work force not to run a household. So when she has a baby a woman is way more comfortable returning to the work she’s faced for 20 years than a crying, squishy, stinky blob. So she returns to her career, her husband to his own, and the child is sent to strangers for survival, and instead of a family growing together in the same direction, everyone is all over the place pursuing his and her own desires and never being fulfilled.

Because what they desire is to fill the void of family, and they don’t know how to have one. No one has ever modeled for them how to do life. They truly believe that a good life just happens to some folks and doesn’t happen for others. And that ought to be the single goal of today’s church: to model how to do life. How to be family. That’s it.

]]> By: jim cecil http://deeperdevotion.com/weblog/1745/comment-page-1#comment-9684 jim cecil Thu, 15 May 2008 15:21:30 +0000 http://deeperdevotion.com/weblog/1745#comment-9684 you are right to stick your committment, however, the old testment teaches us that divorce was provided to us because we are weak. i react the same way. We have to be careful not to be prideful of our own ability to stick to this commitment while each of us strugles with other committments. We are in a place of grace, trusting God, and working on our sin with his guidance. We all have barrels full of sin and commitments to address. We will all have many failures but by his grace we are righteous. So, this lady is righteous in him. We should be glad that she is open to sharing her own testimony of struggle and is trusting God in her own development. My own arwareness of personal failure should be enough to embrace her testimony. i love your website! JIM you are right to stick your committment, however, the old testment teaches us that divorce was provided to us because we are weak. i react the same way. We have to be careful not to be prideful of our own ability to stick to this commitment while each of us strugles with other committments.
We are in a place of grace, trusting God, and working on our sin with his guidance. We all have barrels full of sin and commitments to address. We will all have many failures but by his grace we are righteous.
So, this lady is righteous in him. We should be glad that she is open to sharing her own testimony of struggle and is trusting God in her own development.
My own arwareness of personal failure should be enough to embrace her testimony.

i love your website!
JIM

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